Married to Medicine

Many people have been sharing their journey as dual physician couples. I thought it would be interesting to share our story.

Paul and I met when he was studying for USMLE Step 1 and I was pre-med at University of Wisconsin-Madison. We had only been dating for about a year before he started the residency match process. We were anxious about trying to align his residency training and my MD/PhD aspirations, but it worked (yay!) and we moved to Pittsburgh together for MD/PhD and anesthesia residency. This was a big jump out of our comfort zone and a test of our new relationship. Medicine forced us to either get serious our relationship and plan our careers around our common goals, or give up. We decided to bet on our relationship, and he ranked his programs accordingly. Programs that I had acceptance at were on the top of his list, even if it meant stepping away from some programs that peaked his interests personally or professionally.I’m thankful that we both had the foresight to keep our relationship first, even in its early stages.

Lucky for us, we ended up at our favorite program and would begin a life together in Pittsburgh. His residency training was tough.Long hours and unpredictable schedules. After a long day at work he would come home to study. Similarly, I was studying to try to keep up to the demands of medical school. It was a busy, and there were times that we would go days without setting each other, or only pass each other briefly on the way in/out of our small apartment.

Despite the schedule, it was such an exciting time. We were both learning so much about medicine, life, patient care, ourselves, and our relationship. We were quickly engaged and the wedding planning began! We bought our first house, got married and had our first child all while my husband was in residency. It was such an exciting time.

When we had our first baby I was in graduate school. But shortly after my husband moved away for fellowship. We did long distance with a baby. What?! It wasn’t perfect, but it was temporary. That year was tough. I was sloughing through research in graduate school and Paul was in a clinically demanding fellowship. It was wonderful to see that year end.

Couldn’t do anything without these two! — PhD Defense Day!!

My husband became a first year attending and I defended my PhD thesis while 6 months pregnant. We had our next baby while I was a third year medical student. Juggling a new baby, a toddler, demanding clinical training in medical school and the match process was a wild adventure. Now, we’re thrilled to be on the other side of my residency match with a plan for the next 4+ years.

This family is on the move! Here we go! — Match Day 2019, Dermatology here we come!

However, that means we’re beginning an entirely new season. I’m an intern. Intern year is crazy, and my husband is taking on the role of the leader in our home. Our staggered training has its benefits and drawbacks. Just when we thought we were done with the pressures of residency we’re back into the training mentality, now it's my time -but, I’m grateful for his support during my time in residency.

We are a team. Simplification has helped us tremendously. Our schedules are insane and unbalanced. We struggle, and we need a lot of help to make it work. But it works, it definitely works, and we wouldn’t trade a moment. Do not let anyone tell you it cannot be done!

Marriages and medical careers have seasons. During each season we try our best to keep our mutual priorities in mind, and remind each other of them often! We both strongly believe in the importance of family, friendships, faith, physical and mental health, and serving others through our careers. When we hit a crossroad, we come back to these priorities and make decisions as a team.